Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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