when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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