is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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