I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
