Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
