He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
