I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
