We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
