Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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