All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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