apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
