In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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