Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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