No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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