the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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