I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
