FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
don't judge my taste in strippers
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
