You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She bit a glass in half.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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