he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
