I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
