What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
