I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
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