I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
