Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think my moral compass just broke
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
