Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
