Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
