I think I am morally bankrupt
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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