Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
