i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
