Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
