dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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