i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
