I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
