so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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