i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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