Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
