He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Randomize
