Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
