What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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