and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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