Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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