Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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