I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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