mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
