Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
