So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
