Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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