I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
