If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
