I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
