also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i came on her dog
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
