We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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