A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
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