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she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He has the fingertips of a God
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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