maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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